I met a homeless woman, and I didn't help her.
I was coming home late and stopped to pick up some food. As I was walking in, a woman sitting in the restaurant called me over. She asked if I could help.
At this point, I would like to say my heart melted and that I as a good human would have done anything necessary to help someone else. But I didn't.
I asked if I could get her some food, and she said no. What she really needed, she said, was a hotel for the night. She used to live in Beverly Hills, and something happened and she'd lost her home, and... then she started crying.
When I was younger, I met a woman near my house who told me she was a teacher and her car had broken down and she just needed some money to get back home. I gave her $40. She told me she'd come back the next day to pay me back. She didn't. I think she needed the $40 more than I did, but I also never forgot the experience.
About a year ago, I walked past a homeless man on the way to Target. He looked tired and dirty and asked if I could give him anything to help. I went to Target and spent $15 (nothing, in the grand scheme of things) on healthy, durable foods. A few minutes later I walked back and handed him a bag of peanuts, apple sauce, jerky, things I thought might help sustain him for awhile. He looked at me like I had given him poison. He turned his back to me and asked the people walking by for money. I left the bag, but that look stayed with me.
So when this woman started crying, my heart did melt. It hurts to see another person feel broken. But as much as I hate to admit it, I was skeptical. As I waited for my food, I called 2-1-1 to find out about available local services. When I got through the line, I turned around to give the woman what information I could. She wasn't there.
Forgive me if this sounds rude, but I've come to firmly believe that organizations specifically set up for this mission are able to provide help much more effectively than I can. When I got home, I made a donation to the Downtown Women's Center. I gave them $36. It was more than I would have given the woman in the restaurant, but as I drove home I felt acutely aware of how luxurious this handbag hobby of mine is. $36 isn't nothing, but it's definitely something I can spare.
The Downtown Women's Center website tells me that $36 provides a week of basic services for ten women. I'm trying to tell myself that helping ten women for a week is more cost effective than helping one woman for one night. Mathematically it makes sense, but my heart is still a little sore.
Should I have given her money for a hotel? In this city, a hotel for one night would have been more than double what I gave to the Downtown Women's Center. I'm not sure I would have felt good about that either.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I should have done. But I do know I was unprepared. So, should you ever find yourself in this situation, here's what I suggest:
- Call your local information line, usually by just dialing 2-1-1. They can direct you to emergency food and shelter near your location.
- If you do have the means to help, consider a local organization that helps those who need it. They can probably stretch your dollar farther than you can. I gave to the Downtown Women's Center because they teach entrepreneurial skills, something I am passionate about. There are hundreds of organizations with different specialties out there. If you're not sure where to start, try Charity Navigator.
- If you can't give money but still want to do something, there are lots of volunteer opportunities. Try searching VolunteerMatch - a quick search using the keyword "homeless" in my zip code gave me 254 opportunities.